15
Aug

Yes, I Do In Fact Hate You

As a part of my morning of doing little of any use, I have determined that bloggers are dickheads, a category in which I include myself because I know only too well that I one also. I am tremendously inspired by the fact that rich white women can spend their days writing about how their children behave like children, their oats look like oats, their clothes are worn in public and their homes have furnishings. It is a marvel that they are paid for these inspiring acts of bravery. We truly do not offer them enough adulation. Statues are needed.

15
Aug

Things That Could Possibly Work

If I approve all of the comment spam, will that make me more popular? The grammar in it is better than a number of actual bloggers who seem to get paid for this.

15
Aug

I Am Addled.

I have spent much of my morning playing a game on my iPhone which I actually hate. It is a waste of time and battery life.  It is vaguely satisfying to play while I don’t mop the floor. I have also printed of things with the intent to organise them. I even opened a new spreadsheet. I might just be exhausted by all of these kerfufflings and should watch some true crime television to calm my nerves,

I will spell steadfastly in Australian English at all times and there are zero things you can do about it.

8
Jul

A Flotilla of Stupid

I watched a program tonight in which a man built himself wings. Can anybody see how this story ended?

I am saddest because this is s true story.

30
Mar

A Revival of Sorts

This is the part where the blog gets a new lease on life. Much like Lazarus except, you know, real.

15
Sep

Where I Am Unstopably Lazy…

So the boy is late home. Something all military and important, no doubt. Or they’re just playing with computers, which is just as likely. The consequence of this is that I am making a concerted effort to avoid doing those yucky  outsidey chores at all costs. Hoping he gets home before I have to suffer the indignity of taking out the garbage. *Shudder*

12
Sep

The Starvingest Feline of All Time

Was feeding the furballs this morning and spilled kitty kibble everywhere, as I am wont to do. Thankfully these sorts of shenanigans do not affect our tough little balls of fur. Oscar simply kept right on plowing through the chow with a rather large pile of kitty biscuits on his head. Now that’s dedication for you.

24
Aug

Ah, the Serenity

She exclaims how much she loves the leisure time she gets as a teacher whilst inhaling scalding coffee, chasing errant vice principals and launching battles for the photocopier. Why would she ever change careers? She can’t buy this sort of chaos anywhere she’ll have you know.

10
Aug

One More Thing This House Doesn’t Need

Currently trying to do high bandwith netty type things that are actually REALLY IMPORTANT. Not appreciating the slowness of the interwebs (thanks, crappy ISP who we are not using when we move). And my right hand is going solo on the frostbite thing again. And I need to pee.

Naturally this situation requires a rather crappy Austin Powers impersonation. I am clearly the kind of person you want around in an emergency.

8
Aug

An Abomination

Why do people insist on COOKING smoked salmon. Is the smokiness not good enough for you or do you just hate salmon and all it stands for? Infidels.